Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Sleepless Nights.

The way the schedule is arranged at our house is thus: I stay awake until two or three to make sure he doesn't wake up and want a snack. I then go to bed and when the wife wakes at five for work she wakes him no later than six (assuming he isn't already awake.) She puts him back down at seven when she heads to work and he normally lets me sleep until ten or so in the morning.

While this is a great arrangement in theory the problem comes from the implementation and the side effects. What ends up happening is a type of paranoia that comes from worrying that he is awake and this leads to checking the Baby Monitor every five minutes when you are the one who has to be there if he wakes. So from 2-7 I get great sleep, after that I find myself waking every few minutes (probably not literally) to check the monitor and make sure I didn't hear him cry, because I think I did, no it couldn't have been the red bars haven't filled. There is of course the same problem for the wife only her ideal time is from 9-3, then she is the one who has to be ready if he wakes.

The real problem is the responsibility, knowing that you have to be the one to get up if he starts crying and knowing that he is dependant on you makes you crazy. So while technically we each get around eight hours of sleep, the reality is closer to five

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Smiling

DST

So it would seem that many decades ago (4) the US Congress foresaw that it by passing a certain law would adversely effect my sleep patterns. They knew that mandates passed at a federal level would standardize a practice that has recently come to cause mild irritation in this household. Yes the three words that bring about the most resentment in this house are 'Daylight Savings Time.'

After three months The Boy was finally on a great schedule. Pater (Dad) would put The Boy down around 11:00 pm as Mater (Mom) had gone to bed around 9 or 10. The Boy would sleep until 5 when Mater had to get up anyway so she would feed him and he would sleep until Pater woke around 7.

I look back on this time period fondly, it will henceforth be referred to as the golden time. Well our life sans the child was pretty nice, but we will consider this the Aurum Aetas Post Natalem (Golden Age After Birth.)

You can try, as I have, to explain to an infant that the time has changed and so accordingly so should he. Efforts like this are to no avail. He has continued his protest of the policy in defiance of all authority figures and has repeatedly quoted Patrick Henry, Thomas Paine, and even Voltaire. The latter threw me for a loop and I began to suspect that he was merely looking to be a martyr for the cause.

I tried to reason with him that his protest was far to small and he would better suited to protest when the time changes not after the time reverts. He became irate and demanded I call every person in government that is elected to explain the importance of his sleep schedule, briefly I relented. After a lengthy discussion with the secretary of state about how he has no way to change this and to quit calling him on Saturdays at 4 in the morning I gave up this tactic. The Boy has been inconsolable since and has begun demanding a recount of all elections.

So we sit at a stale mate, he refuses to get back on a schedule and we are left unable to sleep. Analysis would reveal that is no so much a stalemate as he is clearly winning.