Showing posts with label Nature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nature. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Coordinate This!
Coordination and intelligence are two words that should strike fear into the heart of every new parent. It seems like children should be more like pets until they are ready to move out, or at the very least until they can speak. As 'the boy' gets smarter he is able to discern between the different pacifiers (I think we have three total.) Two he likes and two he doesn't, I guess we have four pacifiers. I adapted to this fine and simply hurled the ones he shows distain for into a large pit to be devoured by a massive creature over the next thousand years. The other two I keep close for use after feedings, I use them to see if he is really still hungry or just making the sucking motion.
I was okay when he got smart enough to discern between the different pacifiers, as stated earlier I merely had the offending devices drawn and quartered. I even got used to the fact that he eventually became able to detect that I was giving him a pacifier and not, in fact, a bottle. Coordination has decided to rear it's ugly head in the form of control over his hand and arm movements. Coordination apparently decided that it was probably no good for him to punch himself in the face and scratch his cheeks. Coordination didn't stop there, no coordination went too far, and coordination has to stopped!
Using intelligence and coordination the boy has been pulling out his pacifier almost immediately after insertion. That sounds dirty and I have no idea why. Anyway he has figured out that he can grab the little handle on the pacifier and pull in order to evacuate the device from his mouth. Mostly he does this because he knows how pissed off it makes me and he takes delight in my anger.
Fortunately I am smarter... sort of. I have now returned to a long forgotten methodology, practiced by the great tribes and peoples of yore. I have begun swaddling him paying special care to wrap his arms under the blanket, in doing so rendering him helpless. "Whatta' ya' think of that punk!" I can be heard shouting in my living room. My victory dances are the best.
Parenting - 1 : Nature - 0
I was okay when he got smart enough to discern between the different pacifiers, as stated earlier I merely had the offending devices drawn and quartered. I even got used to the fact that he eventually became able to detect that I was giving him a pacifier and not, in fact, a bottle. Coordination has decided to rear it's ugly head in the form of control over his hand and arm movements. Coordination apparently decided that it was probably no good for him to punch himself in the face and scratch his cheeks. Coordination didn't stop there, no coordination went too far, and coordination has to stopped!
Using intelligence and coordination the boy has been pulling out his pacifier almost immediately after insertion. That sounds dirty and I have no idea why. Anyway he has figured out that he can grab the little handle on the pacifier and pull in order to evacuate the device from his mouth. Mostly he does this because he knows how pissed off it makes me and he takes delight in my anger.
Fortunately I am smarter... sort of. I have now returned to a long forgotten methodology, practiced by the great tribes and peoples of yore. I have begun swaddling him paying special care to wrap his arms under the blanket, in doing so rendering him helpless. "Whatta' ya' think of that punk!" I can be heard shouting in my living room. My victory dances are the best.
Parenting - 1 : Nature - 0
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